Green drops are a rather murky and insanely foul liquid "medication" used as a cureall - generously passed down to my parents from my grandmother. And since they are a cureall it naturally follows that if we were unwilling to take green drops then we just must not really be sick. (This might be a good time to mention that my blog apparently has no spell check .... and I'm not too sure about lethargic, deterrent, or cureall - apply this disclaimer to all posts.)
I'm quite certain the trick was in giving them to us when were young, but somehow we came to believe that green drops really do work - that if you take them you will feel better! But the general agreement is that no one would ever take green drops unless they were quite certain they were at death's door. No death rattle, no green drops. It's nothing like these gummy bear vitamins or electrolyte popsicles they have these days where kids are excited to receive medicinal relief. Nope. Green drops would gag a magot, and if anybody has a strong stomach it's gotta be those guys.
But of course they can't work unless you swallow them. When we were growing up we took green drops by the spoonful. Imagine our indignation when we discovered that our nearly grown cousins took them about 2 drops at a time in a spoonful of sugar! Or diluted in a cup of water (although all agree that prolonging consumption is a bad idea).
So, last night when I found myself sick enough to take green drops I read the label. (I might could have pushed through but I didn't want the death rattle to alarm the neighbors.) Here's an abbreviated explaination of the recommended uses for green drops:
* as a gargle for minor irritations of the throat
* as a refreshing mouth wash
* excellent for use with a toothbrush in cleansing the teeth
* relieves the stuffiness of a head cold - place 1/2 teaspoon in boiling water and breath the fumes (I just
realized this says fumes instead of vapors. Hmmm....?)
* temporary relief of minor digestive disturbances - take 1/2 teaspoon saturated in sugar
* temporary relief of muscular aches and pains - gently rub the affected areas with these drops
I know I'm no doctor, but am I the only one who feels like this list is just a little bit, well... sketchy? First of all, anyone who has ever tasted green drops would immediately elliminate the first three uses from consideration. Secondly, does the same medicine generally help head colds, indigestion, and muscle pain?
It seems a little "mind over matter"-ish to me. Which is fine, because last night I truly did feel better after I took them. But if that's the case, I sure wish I knew the trick to reprogramming my mind to something a little more friendly. And if "mind over matter" works then I'ma start my kids out right by printing a label and sticking it on some ice cream or something. Cuz green drops'll make even a magot gag.
ha, i remember when i actually read the label, it is quite fuuny. funnily enough i do think somehow it works (possibly induces vommiting which usually helps a bit anyways?) also, after not taking it for years 'correctly' with the sugar, after i read the directions i promptly tried to correct my mistake. I went and got a tablespoon FULL of sugar, and pour a little bit of the green concoction on it. OH MY GOSH! Who would ever take green drops with SUGAR? It MIGHT help with the taste a little bit, but what i hadn't realized/thought out was that swallowing a tablespoon (even a teaspoon) of straight sugar is pretty much like eating 10 saltine crackers with no water! I was standing there gagging even more becuase not only did i have green drop taste in my mouth, i had it everywhere in my mouth, stuck in odd places, half down my throat...and no water...Boy oh boy, i say take it like a shot and be done with it. infact, i think i might rather just take a shot instead! Alcohol use to be the cureall anyways, i do believe it was said to help all sorts of things, like muscle aches, stress levels, sexual ability, colds and indigestion...even as far reaching as hightening your self-confidence and boosting everyone's ability to get along! Why did our parents not use a good shot of Jack instead? :-)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. What you clearly did not notice about the directions for use -- all of those, with the exception of taking 1/2 teaspoon saturated in sugar for indigestion -- is that none of them were intended to be ingested! Mouth wash,as well as toothpaste, are never to be swallowed. Therefore, even if you put the horrid stuff in your mouth, you spit it out before it ever hits the digestive system. Rubbing it gently on the sore muscles, rather than taking it, breathing in the fumes rather than swallowing the drops to relieve congestion . . . am I the only one who thinks maybe this stuff really isn't supposed to be ingested at all? What is this stuff? Absorbine Jr.?
ReplyDeleteI really think I'd best copy and print this for Rich to read! Laughed a bunch! Thanks Meg and Sarah!
ReplyDeleteJust for the record, I know of no one that has ever been worse after taking Green Drops than before. The reason for this(mind over matter) is that now you have something else that your mind is concentrating on. As for Sarah's suggestion that a shot of alcohol would do the same thing, Green Drops has a high percentage of alochol in it but so that people do not fake illness just to have some, it has a rather potent taste. Now that everyone is aware of this wonder drug let me know when you want a taste. Megan's Dad
ReplyDeleteWhat a hoot! I wish I thought of something like this when my kids were young. Somehow they always fooled me til noon any way.
ReplyDeleteAs always the blog was wonderrful and so were the videos.
God Bless You. Love as always Grandma Jan